It’s a beautiful summer day down here in Melbourne, so where else would we rather be than in Windsor, chilling at Tokyo Tina, and talking shit with old mate Charlie Rothery about frothys, pouring wine on people, and ‘Tokyo Tinder.’
Do you know what was here before? What was it?
Interestingly, this was a bong shop.
The bong shop dude wouldn’t get out, and they were like, come on – the real estate agents had to get involved. He finally moved out, like, two weeks after we were meant to have the keys – and he left this room… There were, I’m not even kidding you, there were fifty general power outlets on each wall, and then there was a skylight and this fully connected camera system! [laughs]
Can’t they track that shit with power bills, obviously if, like, the power consumption goes up and they’re like, ‘Hey, man, what are you growing up in there?’
Yeah, that’s what I would have thought!
Changing tack, Is it fair to say Tinder dates get a fair run?
Apparently we’re known as Tokyo Tinder amongst some circles [laughs]. Seriously. I’m not even kidding.
In all your… Short time in hospitality, do have a cringeworthy moment?
Mate, I done things… I, I poured wine on people, I’ve dropped a few things, but nothing… I don’t think anything was that bad.
Is there something going on in the kitchen here that’s a bit of a secret?
I’ll just have to think about it for a second. [laughs] Oh, you know what, there’s this thing called yuzu kosho. Actually yuzu full stop is amazing. It’s very expensive but the cleanness of the consistency is better than wine and we use it in most of our cocktails.
We go for a frothy.
Froth on tap?
Just a straight froth. Mate, we sell Melbourne Bitter cans… Just to end the day.
I love a Melbourne.
Have you had them on tap?
No! You see I think this is the problem. So 80% of what you taste is olfactory. The smell, right? Have you ever smelt Melbourne Bitter?
It’s a dank, wretched smell. There’s a reason it’s in a fucking can, right, so that your nose can’t get anywhere near it! As soon as you put it on tap, you’ve ruined the illusion.
Your nose is all in it!
Have you ever seen Corona on tap?
No. That smells wretched?
It smells horrific. And that’s why Melbourne belongs in the can. Don’t let it out of the can!
Three-sip rule I reckon. Three sip rule. If you can’t get it down in three sips, you abandon the rest
Have you had the new Pirate Life IPA?
The new one that’s like a bluey colour? There’s a few.
Everything that they make is fucking great.
It’s good shit
And they’re crushing us.
Are they? Are they northern?
Adelaide‘s got filthy water.
They drink Canberra’s run-off.
Sucked in Adelaide! Well, I’d better whip it. Thank you.
66A Chapel St, Windsor VIC 3181, Australia